Something about the 7th edition Goblin Matron turns me on. I don’t know if it’s because she’s the only foil version, or if it’s because of that full body suit that she’s wearing. Whatever it is… damn, that’s just sexy!
How can you say "no" to that face? |
I had a dream last night about her and my Girlfriend. They were both wearing that skin tight leopard print and holding those little whips / beating sticks. The dream can best be summed up with a quote from Hellraiser:
“I thought I'd gone to the limits. I hadn't. The Cenobites gave me an experience beyond limits... pain and pleasure, indivisible.” – Frank Cotton
Replace “Cenobites” with “Goblin Matron / Girlfriend” and you’ve got the idea!
Back in the day I thought “Serra Angel” was a hottie (c’mon, no need to lie... I think we all did!) but I think now the sexualization of women has gone too far! How can anyone resist that delicate, succulent pot belly that the Goblin Matron is sporting? The way that her stomach rolls gracefully like a bubbling brook, and hangs low like a biker who’s been drinking too many beers is like a feast for the eyes!
And how can we neglect to mention the amazing job she does with her makeup? Clearly she’s an easy, breezy cover girl! I know that the first thing that I look for in a woman is a clown face. If she doesn’t have two rosy cheeks and blue eye shadow akin to that of Mimi from the Drew Carrey show I won’t even give her a chance!
She's hot... just not Goblin Matron hot! |
That face… that beautiful face! Like a crescent moon drawn by a child, it is truly adorable! When you move in for a kiss just be sure not to poke out an eye out on her sharp nose, or cut yourself on her dagger like chin, but hey! The cenobites have all the answers again!
"Down the dark decades of your pain, this will seem like a memory of Heaven." – Pinhead
"Demons to some, Angels to others." |
Oh Pinhead, you are soooooo wise! I’ll bet you have a LOT of experience with the goblin matron… maybe she’s even shown YOU a thing or two?
Pinhead: “...”
Wow, when even Pinhead is at a loss for words it makes me think he’s hiding something! Maybe he’s even… scared?
Pinhead: "Oh I'll enjoy making you bleed. And I'll enjoy making you enjoy it."
You jest! But back to the Goblin Matron and her bounteous body. If you’re careful in your observations (as I am!) you’ll also notice her greasy, silver hair, tied in a tight granny bun behind her pointed ears. She’s old… so she’s experienced! Taking a page from Pinheads repertoire you might even say that she has “such sights to show us”! How about it Pinny-my-man? Did you appreciate the reference?
Pinhead: “Just come here and die child, while you still have the option of doing it quickly.”
LOL you can wine and dine me some other time my demonic ally, this is serious business we’re discussing here! And we just got to the best parts! Look at her child bearing hips, and her enormous bosom! You know if she turned around that she’s just GOT to be sporting a tight Badunkadunk. I’d love to get my mitts on a piece of THAT! A Tim Hortons coffee in one hand and a nice slice of buttocks in the other is the way I dream of spending a Saturday afternoon, right Pinner old pal?
Pinhead? Buddy? You still here?
:*(
She looks like a horse face, but at least her boobs are still bigger then her belly! Thats where I draw the line!
ReplyDeleteYou used lots of big words here, but the one I am concerned with the most is "porno" PLEASE for all the men out there....next time post up a card that I can have sexual fantasies about...not nightmares!